This would have to be arguably the most important part of this blog.
If you are serious about Internet dating then you are going to want
to create yourself a profile. It’s such an important part of the whole
Internet dating game, yet it’s the one thing people have the most
problem with. Because of that, it’s also the one thing they often put
the least amount of effort into. This is not what you want. Apart
from actual searching, your profile should be without a doubt the
component that you spend the most amount of time and effort on.
Your profile is important for several reasons:
• It is your chance to express yourself, and who and what you are
looking for.
• It will dictate what kind of response you get, how many people
respond, and what type of people respond.
• It is a source of information for other people to find out more
about you when you email them.
There are no hard and fast rules to making the perfect profile;
everyone is different, and so will be your perfect profile. However,
there are a great many things that you can do wrong that can
seriously jeopardise any chance you have of getting a reply. Just as
importantly there are also some general things that you can do to
greatly improve your chances.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Automatic Profile Generation Sites
Avoid sites that generate your profile text for you. On these sites
you are asked to fill in detailed questions about yourself and who
you are looking for. From this information the site automatically
generates a profile based on your information. For example:
“John is a 28yo Male from Sydney Australia. He is 5’11” and
weighs 75 kg. He has blue eyes and pale skin. His religion is not
important. His interests include Soccer and Wind Surfing.
“John is looking for a 20-30yo female located in Sydney. She
should be between 5’1 and 5’9” tall with a slim to average build.”The object of this is to give everyone the same chance, and in
turn to generate a site full of supposed ‘quality’ profiles. As you
can see, however, the result is not exactly a work of art. In fact,
it’s mind numbingly boring.
Not surprisingly this doesn’t work in practice, and the only
outcome is to bore those who are searching for profiles. Try this
yourself and you’ll quickly find that even searching a few profiles
becomes incredibly tedious.
On top of that it’s next to impossible to stand out in any respect
against your competition. Avoid these sites if you can.
you are asked to fill in detailed questions about yourself and who
you are looking for. From this information the site automatically
generates a profile based on your information. For example:
“John is a 28yo Male from Sydney Australia. He is 5’11” and
weighs 75 kg. He has blue eyes and pale skin. His religion is not
important. His interests include Soccer and Wind Surfing.
“John is looking for a 20-30yo female located in Sydney. She
should be between 5’1 and 5’9” tall with a slim to average build.”The object of this is to give everyone the same chance, and in
turn to generate a site full of supposed ‘quality’ profiles. As you
can see, however, the result is not exactly a work of art. In fact,
it’s mind numbingly boring.
Not surprisingly this doesn’t work in practice, and the only
outcome is to bore those who are searching for profiles. Try this
yourself and you’ll quickly find that even searching a few profiles
becomes incredibly tedious.
On top of that it’s next to impossible to stand out in any respect
against your competition. Avoid these sites if you can.
Don’t Believe Everything You Read
Many sites may seem impressive when they claim to have
hundreds of thousands, or even millions of members, but take
this with the proverbial grain of salt. The truth is that while they
may have that many registered profiles, the number of active
members is much less. Many profiles are abandoned, duplicates,
not serious, and could in fact be many years old. There is no way
to know how many active profiles a site has. Remember also that
half or even more will be of the opposite sex.
If you really want to know how many profiles are applicable to
you, then do a broad search for your criteria. The search will tell
you how many profiles it found. Now search again, but this time
only for profiles that have been active in the last month (if this
search option exists). This will give you the best indication of how
many possible candidates are on that site.
On many sites, you have to register just to do a simple search.
Many people will register and create a profile in order to just take
a peek, thus creating yet another inactive profile.
hundreds of thousands, or even millions of members, but take
this with the proverbial grain of salt. The truth is that while they
may have that many registered profiles, the number of active
members is much less. Many profiles are abandoned, duplicates,
not serious, and could in fact be many years old. There is no way
to know how many active profiles a site has. Remember also that
half or even more will be of the opposite sex.
If you really want to know how many profiles are applicable to
you, then do a broad search for your criteria. The search will tell
you how many profiles it found. Now search again, but this time
only for profiles that have been active in the last month (if this
search option exists). This will give you the best indication of how
many possible candidates are on that site.
On many sites, you have to register just to do a simple search.
Many people will register and create a profile in order to just take
a peek, thus creating yet another inactive profile.
Finding Personals Sites
With literally thousands of personals sites on the Internet, finding
one shouldn’t be too hard. Finding one that is right for you on the
other hand is a bit more difficult.
I’ll make things a bit easier for you by listing a few of the major
sites in various countries. This is not a recommendation for any
particular site, but they are some of the biggest and more reputable
ones. You should start by investigating each one and find out if it’s
worthwhile for you.
If you are really serious and have the time, then a profile on
multiple sites will only improve your chances of meeting someone.But following the principles in this book, and regularly being active
on each site can be very time consuming.
If you are looking at meeting people locally then it’s best to
start with the sites that cater for your particular country. Note,
however, that many sites work equally well for any country.
one shouldn’t be too hard. Finding one that is right for you on the
other hand is a bit more difficult.
I’ll make things a bit easier for you by listing a few of the major
sites in various countries. This is not a recommendation for any
particular site, but they are some of the biggest and more reputable
ones. You should start by investigating each one and find out if it’s
worthwhile for you.
If you are really serious and have the time, then a profile on
multiple sites will only improve your chances of meeting someone.But following the principles in this book, and regularly being active
on each site can be very time consuming.
If you are looking at meeting people locally then it’s best to
start with the sites that cater for your particular country. Note,
however, that many sites work equally well for any country.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Regulatory Bodies
There are currently very few, if any laws that prevent anyone from
operating a personals singles site any way they see fit. However,
the ones that charge for their services fall under the business
category and are subject to common business laws in the country
in which they are based. Laws vary greatly from country to country,
and there is often little recourse should you have queries or
complaints about sites in other countries.
There is no regulatory body that controls how personals sites do
things, and provide or promote their services. Reputable sites will
have their own ‘Code of Practice’ which you can read before joining.
If you don’t like the way they do things then the best option is to go
elsewhere.
Stick to the large well-known sites, preferably in your own
country and you will be fine.
operating a personals singles site any way they see fit. However,
the ones that charge for their services fall under the business
category and are subject to common business laws in the country
in which they are based. Laws vary greatly from country to country,
and there is often little recourse should you have queries or
complaints about sites in other countries.
There is no regulatory body that controls how personals sites do
things, and provide or promote their services. Reputable sites will
have their own ‘Code of Practice’ which you can read before joining.
If you don’t like the way they do things then the best option is to go
elsewhere.
Stick to the large well-known sites, preferably in your own
country and you will be fine.
What You Get
Every site will give you different features and benefits, and
depending on what your needs are; one site might be the best choice
for you because it has a certain feature.
Almost all sites will give you the basics:
• Allow you to create a profile that is included in the searchable
database.
• Ability to search their entire database for free using various
search options and restrictions. Don’t ever pay for just searching.
• The ability to send a message to any member on the database,
this will usually cost money.
• Allow people to contact you at their expense.
Some features that are highly desirable are:
• Sites that give you the direct email address of the person you
are interested in, instead of having to send a ‘message’ via the
site.
• Real life social events that you can join in and/or organise
yourself.
• A chat room.
• Online secure credit card transactions.
• Ability to pay to have your profile listed more prominently, and/
or allow others to contact you for free.
• A large (or no) character limit for your profile.
• The ability to upload multiple photos.
• A link to your own personal web site.
depending on what your needs are; one site might be the best choice
for you because it has a certain feature.
Almost all sites will give you the basics:
• Allow you to create a profile that is included in the searchable
database.
• Ability to search their entire database for free using various
search options and restrictions. Don’t ever pay for just searching.
• The ability to send a message to any member on the database,
this will usually cost money.
• Allow people to contact you at their expense.
Some features that are highly desirable are:
• Sites that give you the direct email address of the person you
are interested in, instead of having to send a ‘message’ via the
site.
• Real life social events that you can join in and/or organise
yourself.
• A chat room.
• Online secure credit card transactions.
• Ability to pay to have your profile listed more prominently, and/
or allow others to contact you for free.
• A large (or no) character limit for your profile.
• The ability to upload multiple photos.
• A link to your own personal web site.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Cost
There are many sites around that provide a completely free service.
It’s free to place a profile and free to respond to a profile. The only
cost is when you want to make your profile ‘stand-out’, which is
entirely optional.
Most large personals sites will cost you money as they are run by
commercial companies specifically set up to run the site as a
business. Unfortunately, the most popular sites are usually the ones
that cost money, but they are the ones with the most people, and
the best features. So if you limit yourself to free sites then you
may be missing out on a large potential audience.
Most sites will allow you to ‘join’ the site, place your profile, and
search profiles for free. But to respond to a profile you must either
be a paid ‘member’ (monthly or yearly, etc.), or buy ‘stamps’ (they
also go by other names such as ‘tokens’, etc.) that allow you to email
people. It might cost one stamp to email one person for instance.
Stamps are typically a few dollars each, and are usually cheaper the
more you buy at once. Be wary of stamps that ‘expire’ after a certain
date; you don’t want to blow your money.
Big sites will accept secure online credit card transactions and
will process your request in a few moments. Some will even accept
a cheque posted to them by regular snail mail, or a credit card
number over the phone.
Some sites charge a lot more than others, so shop around. But
be sure to choose the right site to suit your needs, and not just the
cheapest site available. Keep a look out for sites offering a free trial
period.
As a general rule, sites that are free attract more ‘window
shoppers’ and people who are not serious about meeting anyone. It
stems from the simple fact that people will not pay to just muck
around, but if it’s free then why not?
All of this is of course is assuming that you are going to email
people. If you are content to place your profile, sit back and wait
for the emails, then you need not spend a cent. As you will glean
from the rest of this book, this is not the preferred option. Serious Internet dating will almost certainly cost you some money.
If you compare the cost/efficiency/benefit ratio of Internet
dating to other forms of meeting people, you will find that even
the most expensive Internet dating site is an absolute bargain. For
the cost of entry to a nightclub and a few drinks you can email
dozens of people, or maybe get your profile put up in lights for
months.
It’s free to place a profile and free to respond to a profile. The only
cost is when you want to make your profile ‘stand-out’, which is
entirely optional.
Most large personals sites will cost you money as they are run by
commercial companies specifically set up to run the site as a
business. Unfortunately, the most popular sites are usually the ones
that cost money, but they are the ones with the most people, and
the best features. So if you limit yourself to free sites then you
may be missing out on a large potential audience.
Most sites will allow you to ‘join’ the site, place your profile, and
search profiles for free. But to respond to a profile you must either
be a paid ‘member’ (monthly or yearly, etc.), or buy ‘stamps’ (they
also go by other names such as ‘tokens’, etc.) that allow you to email
people. It might cost one stamp to email one person for instance.
Stamps are typically a few dollars each, and are usually cheaper the
more you buy at once. Be wary of stamps that ‘expire’ after a certain
date; you don’t want to blow your money.
Big sites will accept secure online credit card transactions and
will process your request in a few moments. Some will even accept
a cheque posted to them by regular snail mail, or a credit card
number over the phone.
Some sites charge a lot more than others, so shop around. But
be sure to choose the right site to suit your needs, and not just the
cheapest site available. Keep a look out for sites offering a free trial
period.
As a general rule, sites that are free attract more ‘window
shoppers’ and people who are not serious about meeting anyone. It
stems from the simple fact that people will not pay to just muck
around, but if it’s free then why not?
All of this is of course is assuming that you are going to email
people. If you are content to place your profile, sit back and wait
for the emails, then you need not spend a cent. As you will glean
from the rest of this book, this is not the preferred option. Serious Internet dating will almost certainly cost you some money.
If you compare the cost/efficiency/benefit ratio of Internet
dating to other forms of meeting people, you will find that even
the most expensive Internet dating site is an absolute bargain. For
the cost of entry to a nightclub and a few drinks you can email
dozens of people, or maybe get your profile put up in lights for
months.
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